Hot Wings Networking

I recently heard a great definition differentiating extroverts from introverts. Extroverts get energy from exchanging information with others, while introverts get energy from internal processing of information.

The world, it turns out, does not divide neatly into chipper, over-caffeinated sorority- and fraternity-types on one side, and bungling social-pariahs on the other. It’s not about whether we have social or analytical skills—we all have some amount of both—instead, it’s about what keeps us going, what gives us our zing.

Me, I may enjoy meeting interesting people when I go out, I may love intense conversations, I may even have done a good deal of public performance in my life. I’m still an introvert. For all the time I spend out there with folks, I need space and time to pull back, breathe, and just be, preferably whilst sipping a nice cup of tea, or puttering about the house.

Well, too bad for me.

I just relocated to the Bay Area last week. For a professional, a cross-continent move means one thing above all others: weeks, if not months, of rigorous networking with strangers.

For me, hardcore schmoozing holds as much appeal as a mammography: I know it’s good for me, but I’d rather be doing something else. I can’t get excited about spending hours looking as interested in everyone as a sorority girl at a Kappa Kappa Kappa party when my boob’s in a clamp.

Fortunately, my friend Diane introduced me to her special brand of networking, one that is perfect for introverts like me. She calls it Hot Wings Networking. It’s a really simple concept: let the red-hot schmoozers schmooze, and let the rest of us relax, strike up conversations as they arise naturally, and, when the conversations get really interesting, take the talk over to the nearest hot wings joint. “Good things always happen over hot wings” says Diane. She and her partner have built a successful business over impromptu spicy nibbles.

The fact is that when we’re not forcing interactions, we introverts project a quiet confidence, which is an essential element of successful networking. It’s important to be friendly and open, but there’s no reason to overdo it. Sometimes, just grabbing a bite with a couple of interesting people can be much more effective.

So, if at your next networking event someone invites you to share some wings, that’ll be me, and I already like you.